National Black Marriage Day March 29, 2008

            Annually, the fourth Sunday in March 

Sat March 29 Special events for Couples, for Singles and for youth. 

In Richmond, First Things First is partnering with a coalition led by Adia Blackmon of Black Woman Press to Celebrate Marriage as part of the national Black Marriage Day.  We will provide great research based programs with experienced African American presenters.  Richmond Event Registration information below.   

Ways to Celebrate Black Marriage Day

There are many ways to celebrate Black Marriage Day 2008. We encourage you to exhaust your creativity and offer programs that reach a range of the Black community to include couples, singles and youth. On March 30, 2008 we want to have 5,000 married couples renew their sacred vows. We offer the following suggestions of activities from sources such as the Smart Marriages Website and things other cities have done. You can use these ideas, or come up with your own, for a very special Black Marriage Day 2008 event.

Teach by example! Celebrate your own marriage. Strengthen your own marriage. Read a book, attend a course. See www.smartmarriages.com for books and classes. If you're not married, offer to baby sit so someone else can go celebrate.

Launch a Marriage Hall of Fame for those married for 40 years or more. Post their pictures and their tips for success in a prominent public place like the marriage license office, schools, library or places of worship. Marriage Hall of Fame information is enclosed.

Honor members of your extended family or community whose marriages have had an impact on your life. Write a note of appreciation for marriages that have inspired you. Or, throw a surprise party honoring them.

Create a "Ten Most Affordable Marriage Dates" (or best, or most romantic, or most creative) list/contest for your community. Get these to the media - radio, TV, newspapers, community newsletters. Ask radio stations to promote a contest - keep the focus on Marriage - not just any old date, but ideas for the best, most creative, or most affordable Marriage Date.

Organize a "Husband/Wife or Marriage of the Year" essay contest.

Encourage local television and radio stations, movie theaters or drama companies to celebrate Black Marriage Day with appropriate programs, films or productions. Organize a Marriage Film Festival at your community organization. Ask local stations to run Public Service Announcements about marriage.

Ask media to include a Strengthening Marriage Tip, Marriage Article, Marriage Quiz -" Of the Day" for the full week leading up to Black Marriage Day. Send them the material! It's only seven days... Celebrate couples who have reached marriage milestones - 25, 40, 50, or more years or marriage.

Ask religious leaders to acknowledge the importance of marriage on Black Marriage Day in their sermons and services. Invite them to have their own ceremony to renew vows. Make sure they have the certification documentation.

Send a marriage-strengthening book or give a gift certificate for a class to newlyweds, new parents, or anyone whose marriage could use a boost.

Offer to speak/teach at civic groups, high schools, factories, day care, etc. Organize a marriage strengthening seminar in your civic or religious community.

Ask employers to hold a marriage seminars or brown bag lunches. Organize a fundraiser - dance, walkathon, marathon, bake sale - to purchase marriage education books and tapes and donate them to the public or congregation library.

Include activities for engaged couples and dating couples – emphasize helping them create strong, healthy marriages for the future.

Have couples create a CD for their spouse called, “Why I love You So”. Depending on their skill level it can include one spouse speaking to the other or it could just include a compilation of favorite songs that express their love and devotion.

For Book Clubs have them read a book on the value of marriage such Marriage and Caste in America by Kay Hymowitz and discuss it.

Ask judges and divorce lawyers to declare a moratorium on divorce – NO Divorces filed or granted during the week leading up to Black Marriage Day. Ask them to "schedule vacation" that week if that's what it takes. Get this to the media!

Adolescents and Children
Hold a "How this marriage has had an impact on my life" or a "Why I think this is a great Marriage" essay contest for children in the community (lessons learned, examples set, why they want a marriage like this when they grow up, etc.) Award prizes, get the media involved. Marriages described could be those of their parents, relatives, ancestors or one of local, state or national significance.

Organize a Tom Thumb wedding using children as the bride, groom and attendants. Put marriage on their mind now and keep it there.

Have them write an essay on what marriage looks like to them. Expand this idea and have them make a film or power point with photos from their community on what marriage looks like to them. Make it a contest and offer prizes for the best essay, power point or movie. If you don’t do a contest you can always have an exhibition.

Offer abstinence education classes that help youth make the decision to abstain from sex until marriage.

Have a panel discussion for youth to talk to married couples to learn their success in staying together and why marriage is important.

Create a museum exhibit on slave marriages to show the determination couples had to stay together.

Have children nominate their parents for the Marriage Hall of Fame.

Have an opportunity for children to express why they are glad that their parents are married and the impact it has on their lives.

Make a Donation to First Things First at: link here

Why Black Marriage Day?

By Julie Baumgardner

March 23, 2008

³Why should there be a day set aside to celebrate Black Marriage?² said the caller.  This is a great question that deserves an answer.  The latest marriage research shows that marriage in the African American Community is on the decline. Today, African Americans have the lowest marriage rate of any racial group in the United States. According to the U.S. Census, 43.3 percent of black men and 41.9 percent of black women in America have never been married compared to 27 percent and 22 percent respectively for whites. In 30 years, the overall marriage rate in the United States declined by 17 percent, but for African Americans, it fell by 34 percent.

³Contrary to popular belief, marriage rates in the Black community have not always been low,² said Dr. Rozario Slack, Director of Fathering, Families and Marriage Initiatives at First Things First. ³Following slavery, marriage was held in high esteem by African Americans.  In fact, research shows that close to 70 percent of Blacks during that time period were married.²

Recent research conducted by University of California, Davis economists Marianne Page and Ann Huff Stevens indicates that divorce and marriage play much bigger economic roles for black children than white children in the United States.  Page and Davis found that in the first two years following a divorce, family income among white children falls about 30 percent, while it falls by 53 percent among black children.  This difference dramatically increases over time.

It is estimated that 80 percent of all African American children will spend their childhood living apart from their fathers. While an estimated seventy percent of African American children are born to unmarried mothers.

³Many African American adults don¹t seem to recognize how badly young black teens still desire marriage,² said Dr. Slack. ³Just the other day I was talking with a young man who is a junior in high school.  He told me he was going to be a daddy.  He said he wants to try this Œfamily thing¹ out because he has never seen it in his lifetime.  He wants to try it for a while to see if it works.² \

Like this young man, there are lots of people out there ³playing² at family says Dr. Slack.  If you play at family you get a play family.

³If people want a real family they will seek to be married,² said Dr. Slack. The young man told me he wanted to be married, but he didn¹t know anybody who was in a happy marriage.  To which I replied, ŒYou didn¹t until you met me.¹  These young people clearly want marriage, but they do not feel it is within their reach because of the lack of modeling.  The African American community needs to develop a culture where these teens see that married people are having as much if not more fun than single people.²

Page and Stevens¹ research estimates that while the family income of white children rises by 45 percent when their single parent marries, the family income of black children rises by 81 percent with marriage. One reason for the difference in improvement is that married black mothers are more likely to work than married white mothers. Marriage appears to have even greater benefits for black children whose single mothers marry than for their white counterparts, according to the study. \

Research shows that Black children with married parents typically receive better parenting, are less delinquent, have fewer behavioral problems, have higher self esteem are more likely to delay sexual activity and have better educational outcomes.  In areas including parental support, delinquency, self esteem and school performance, having a father in the home and particularly a married father as a role model is a crucial determinant of better outcomes for young black males. While it is possible for single parents to provide these benefits for children, research clearly shows that they are far more likely to be present in a two-parent household.  Marriage is clearly the safest environment for children.  Child abuse is 50 times more likely to occur in households with unmarried, cohabitating adults than with a child living with their biological parents.

For couples, even when studies control for a wide range of variables, they consistently find that married Black adults, compared to those who are unmarried, have more income, are less likely to face poverty and are more likely to be happy.  Marriage also appears to promote better family functioning.  Marriage provides companionship and good sex for couples. In communities where marriages flourish, the property value is higher, crime is lower and there are better schools.  In communities where marriages fail, or fail to happen, the opposite exists.

³Black Marriage Day was started by the Wedded Bliss Foundation to create cultural change in the Black community and to rethink how marriage is viewed,² said Dr. Slack.  ³I believe we should celebrate Black Marriage Day to make a difference for the next generation, which includes my children.  A risk to marriage anywhere is a risk to marriage everywhere.  And I need there to be less risky marriages so my kids will not grow up thinking that is the way relationships should be.²

Richmond Black Marriage Day information and events: 

            Akoma Ntoaso is an Adinkra symbol from the Akan people of Ghana signifying joined or united hearts.  It is a symbol of agreement, togetherness and unity in thought and in deed.  Black Woman Press, LLC has chosen this symbol to represent our Linked Hearts Initiative.  In communal agreement and togetherness we are bringing the celebration of Black Marriage Day to Richmond, VA. 

            From the most inward parts of each of us to our surrounding families, schools and organizations there is the need to strengthen the foundation of our communities.  One fundamental way to fortify the Black community is to bolster our marriages thereby causing a chain reaction of mental, emotional and physical health in ourselves, our children, community organizations, careers, and families of faith.

            Black Marriage Day (www.blackmarriageday.com), the fourth Sunday in March (March 25, 2007) is dedicated to celebrating the institution of marriage within our community.  In support of the Wedded Bliss Organization (www.weddedblissinc.com), the Linked Hearts Initiative looks to celebrate Black Marriage Day on Saturday, March 29, 2008 at East District Family Resource Center with a day full of marriage education classes for singles, couples, and youth from 10am to 5pm. We encourage you to celebrate Black Marriage Day, Sunday, March 30 2008 in your particular community of faith, community organization, and within your family. 

            Marriage belongs to the community, not solely to the couple.  In communities where marriages are healthy and successful property values are higher, there are better schools, lower crime rates and the people are healthier.  In communities where the divorce rate is higher than the marriage rate and marriages fail to happen, lower property values, poorer schools, crime, health concerns, and many other risk factors abound.  Communities have a responsibility to help change the culture of marriage by encouraging organizational collaborations between community groups and institutions of faith, celebrations that increase the value of marriage and courses that provide services to strengthen marriages.

         Black Woman Press will celebrate Black Marriage Day with classes, workshops, and roundtable discussions for youth, singles, engaged couples, dating couples, cohabitating couples, and married couples of all ages. Topics will include Grieving the End of a Relationship, Sex, Physical Health, Financial Health, Blended Families, Communication, Cheating, Child Rearing, Discussing Sex with Your Child, and Relationships Smarts a class for youth. Following the day of marriage education classes in March we are looking to partner with organizations like yours to continue marriage education classes and seminars. Please check our website beginning in for updates and further information www.blackwomanpress.com/bmd.

For  Richmond events   LINK HERE    http://www.blackwomanpress.com/bmd/index.html 

            If you decide to celebrate Black Marriage Day on March 29, 2008 please go to www.blackmarriageday.com and post your game, celebration, or service of recognition.  It is not difficult to celebrate marriages where you are, go to www.blackmarriageday.com for ideas.

            This day of workshops is open to African-Americans of all faiths and ages.  Often we as a community do not take advantage of tools made available to us when it comes to our relationships because we don’t want anyone “in our business”.  Don’t pass up this opportunity to educate, yourself, your mate, and your children.  Come out and receive good information and relationship skills. In order to register for workshops click on the registration page, and register early space is limited!

            If you, or any member of your organization, would like to join us in our efforts to help plan, publicize, or offer marriage education please email us at blackwomanpress@aol.com or sign up for our mailing list at www.blackwomanpress.com and click on the mailing list.  Please see the links page for partners and information on curriculum.

We look forward to seeing you!

Links:     Registration information below

www.FirstThingsRichmond.org-  FTF is a not-for-profit organization “dedicated to strengthening families through education, collaboration and mobilization.” FTF is a community resource that collaborates with and is supported by a broad cross-section of community organizations, groups and individuals. We are modeled after a similar partnership forged in Chattanooga, Tennessee, since 1997.

www.nojerks.com- In How to Avoid Marrying a Jerk, Dr. John Van Epp walks you through the development of trust, its relationship to intimacy, and maximizes your potential of finding “the one” by giving you the tools to focus on the crucial characteristics of trust in a loving, lasting relationship.

www.prepinc.com- PREP (Prevention and Relationship Enhancement Program) is one of the most comprehensive and well respected divorce-prevention/marriage enhancing programs in the world. PREP is a skills and principles-building curriculum designed to help partners say what they need to say, get to the heart of problems, and increase their connection with each other. 

www.weddedblissinc.com-Wedded Bliss Foundation was born out of the knowledge that married people live longer, have better health, earn more money, accumulate more wealth, buy more homes, feel more fulfilled in their lives, report enjoying more satisfying sexual relations and have happier, more successful children.

Registration:  Link to Black Marriage Day    LINK HERE    http://www.blackwomanpress.com/bmd/