WHO WE ARE l THE PROBLEM l THE SOLUTION l OUR VISION l DIRECTORS & ADVISORS

Community Marriage Policy™ originally developed by Marriage Builders Alliance

Strengthening Marriage ... Supporting Children

OUR CONCERN

There is an emerging consensus among spiritual, academic, civic, and political leaders across the spectrum that increasing the proportion of children born and reared in healthy, married two-parent families would constitute one of the most positive social changes we could undertake to improve the well-being of our children.  Some hold this view because of their religious belief that marriage and family are institutions ordained by God.  Others base their support on evidence that the children of such families have significantly lower rates of poverty, teenage pregnancy, school dropout, delinquency, and substance abuse.  Moreover, when these children are supported by a permanent two-parent union, they have the best chance of optimal life adjustment as measured by successful completion of education, employment, and the ability to establish stable marriages and families of their own.

In addition to the substantial social benefits of having children grow up in stable, healthy two-parent families, there are significant economic savings.  These savings result because a larger proportion of these children successfully complete their education and enter the work force and because of reduced cost associated with unemployment, substance abuse, teenage pregnancy, and delinquency.  As clergy and other community leaders, therefore, we join together in seeking ways to encourage and enable couples to reach their potential as lifelong married partners.

With seventy-five percent of marriages taking place in houses of worship, the clergy potentially play a critical role in laying the foundation for a lifelong partnership.  We recognize that any effort to change cultural values and social practices to increase the number and stability of married two-parent families is a complex, long-term task.  No single, quick fix is available.  But the community, led by its clergy, can be particularly instrumental in providing leadership for one available preventive approach, the adoption and implementation of a Community Marriage Policy™.

DEFINITION

A Community Marriage Policy™ is a set of agreed upon guidelines for premarital preparation and community support for marriage to which clergy, congregations, and the community voluntarily commit.  This policy is not intended to imply criticism of individuals, who, due to unfortunate circumstances are members of or were reared in single-parent families.  Nor does it assume that abusive situations should be endured.  Nor is this policy intended to imply criticism of singleness.

POLICY:

For Clergy and Congregations:

• Encourage a courtship of at least one year and promote chastity before marriage

• Expect a thorough premarital preparation process of at least four premarital counseling sessions (or equivalent) utilizing religious instruction, a premarital inventory, and intensive education.

• Promote fidelity in marriage.

• Encourage one-two post marital counseling sessions with clergy or a mentor couple within the first year of marriage.

• Encourage enrichment opportunities designed to strengthen marriages, and intervention services for stressed marriages.

• Identify mature married couples for training and service as mentors to those who are engaged, newlyweds, or experiencing marital difficulties.

For the Community:

• Examine, each within our profession or line of work, ways in which our current policies and practices may unwittingly undermine marriage formation and stability

• Implement changes in our work and relationships that will more effectively support marriages and families.

• Volunteer our time, expertise, influence, and resources to support initiatives that promote marriage and stable families.

Join us in making a statement of unity and support of Marriage by sending an e-mail with your name, church, title, address, phone/fax, e-mail, denomination and any comment you might have to us at info@firstthingsrichmond.org. Please indicate if you are clergy, business, government, ministry or laity and if you represent any organization.

Note: The phrase Community Marriage Policy™ is a registered trademark of Marriage Savers Inc., 9311 Harrington Dr Potomac, MD 20854.   The Richmond Community Marriage Policy was inspired by Mike McManus and the Marriage Savers Movement but is independent from Marriage Savers.

Note 2:  Marriage Builders Alliance of Richmond is unified in its support for marriages (between a husband and a wife). This is a core issue for our society needing unified support from our congregations and community.  There is a significant body of research indicating the benefits of healthy marriages to individuals, couples and children. Support for marriages is a single focus issue for us and therefore, we do not address same sex relationships which are being debated by legislatures, courts, and some denominations.