RESOURCES BY SUBJECT l FTF LIBRARY

Crisis Marriages

There is no excuse for Domestic Violence or Abuse. Hotlines in Va:  VADV  1-800-838-8238  ;  YWCA Richmond+Henrico: 643-0888  ;   Chesterfield-Tri-Cities: 796-3066.  National DV Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE.  For information in Richmond go to YWCA: http://www.ywcarichmond.org/ 

• It takes one to tango... hope for your marriage article ...   Most people believe that it takes two dedicated people to make a troubled marriage have any chance of success. Michele Weiner-Davis, internationally known relationship expert and author of the best selling book Divorce Busting, disagrees.  She believes if just one partner will "tango" there is hope for a marriage.  
• New Book offers hope for troubled marriages:  "Can My Marriage Be Saved" book by Mae Chambers; stories of seemingly beyond hope  marriages that were restored.  http://www.savedmarriagenetwork.com 
• "It Takes Two:  Keys to a Rewarding Relationship! (PREP).  Also called Fighting for your Marriage.   Communication and Conflict Resolution Tools that work based on long term University of Denver Research and Biblical Foundations.  Great for marriage preparation or for enrichment: www.PREPinc.com For scheduled workshops or to schedule in your organization or church call  288-3431).  Link for more info and next workshop.    Research on why it works.
• Choosing a Therapist who is marriage friendly  also 
• **NEW***  Finding a Marriage Friendly Therapist - Therapeutic Family Law Blog 08 article by James Stinson link here
• Choosing Wisely (Before You Divorce) - strong medicine for failing marriages! a kit for those considering divorce; gives valuable information and realistic expectations. Video w/workbook ... can be used by individual or couple contemplating divorce or by clergy or mentors the assisting couple.  Available in our Resource library at Center for Congregational Ministry (formerly Ecumenical Resource Center) http://www.beforeyoudivorce.org 
• Reconciling God's Way: now called Marriage 911  A 13 week Christian Mentor/Discipleship program with workbook and helper's guide.  Used male to male and female to female and may be used with only half of the couple in crisis. Testimonies from one Pastor (link)  http://www.reconcilinggodsway.com/  
• **NEW***  Mid Life Crisis:  Modern Love, I'm Not Buying it" Unique article of How Laura Munson gave her husband space while he dealt with mid-life crisis and how he returned to the family after a time of 'craziness" Read Article.  or purchase the Book: This Is Not The Story You Think It Is: A Season of Unlikely Happiness
• Marriage Ministry: Simple but effective couple to couple program with 17 Action statements developed in Episcopal church by Father Dick McGinnis: high success rate: (904)8724-2563. More info link.
• Retrouvaille: A Christian Peer Ministry and Lifeline for Troubled Marriages; high success rate   http://www.retrouvaille.org  800 470-2230
• SmartMarriages:  I don't want a divorce and want resources to restore my marriage: link
• Divorce and Children article
• A New Beginning Seminar from Family Dynamics. A New Beginning is a turn-around weekend to help marriages in trouble, in crisis and those having marriage problems. It can dramatically change your relationship with your spouse, regardless of what you feel for each other now. Distinctly Christian. www.savemymarriage.com or call 1-800-650-9995
• ***NEW***   You Can Work It Out... Staying Married could be the happiest Solution (link); By Nanci Kulig of Prevention Magazine. Getting Happy without calling it quits.  Before you file for divorce, consider some surprising news from the University of Chicago: In studies of 700 miserable, ready-to-split spouses, researchers found that two-thirds of those who stayed married were happy 5 years later.
• ***NEW*** Staying Together” After Infidelity. a report about Book: “Staying Together: When an Affair Pulls You Apart.” by Ohio psychologist Dr Stephen Judah. Link for.  Column #1343 May 25, 2007
• Family Chaos: Redeeming Children of Divorce and Bad Marriages. Article by Archibald D. Hart, Ph.D link to eCounseling article
• The Third Option:  Most struggling couples see two options...
  Painful marriage or divorce. But there is a Third Option, a way to a better marriage, The Third Option: .  http://www.thethirdoption.com/index.htm
• Does Divorce Make People Happy?  Findings from a Study of Unhappy Marriages(link); By Linda J. Waite, Don Browning, William J. Doherty, Maggie Gallagher, Ye Luo, and Scott M. Stanley.
  Call it the "divorce assumption." Most people assume that a person stuck in a bad marriage has two choices: stay married and miserable or get a divorce and become happier. But now come the findings from the first scholarly study ever to test that assumption, and these findings challenge conventional wisdom. Conducted by a team of leading family scholars headed by University of Chicago sociologist Linda Waite, the study found no evidence that unhappily married adults who divorced were typically any happier than unhappily married people who stayed married. Divorce is not likely to make you happier... according to this study!
• Beyond Affairs Network  "My Husband's Affair Became the Best Thing That Happened to Me"  by  Anne Bercht. The journey or Ann & Brian Brecht prove that you can survive and thrive! New "Healing" Retreats 
• www.DivorceBusting.com Skill-building "Keeping Love Alive" workshops by marital therapist and author Michele Weiner Davis.
• Healing from Infidelity article by Michelle Weiner Davis Link here
• Infidelity Leave article  by Michelle Weiner Davis Link here

• MARRIAGE 911 by Julie Baumgardner  Where to find help & what to look for in a counselor.

• www.marriagefriendlytherapists.com 

• My Husband’s Affair Became the Best Thing That Ever Happened to Me!  book By Anne Bercht  with excerpts from husband Brian and daughter Danielle.  

• Here are some workshops and programs for troubled couples seeking to restore intimacy.
  
  *  www.SmartMarriages.com A directory of marriage courses with links to Web sites.

• So...You're Separated From Your Spouse? Now What!  Workshop and Book by Richmond Author: LaVerne R. Burgess, M.Ed. New Seasons Consulting  804-317-3079  LAVERNEBURGESS@aol.com 

• How a "Time Out" could save your marriage: Controlled Separation;  Link here for information.
  *  www.pairs.com A 27-year-old program, "Practical Application of Intimate Relationship Skills," that teaches attitudes and behaviors for healthy relationships.
  *  www.retrouvaille.org  A program for couples with serious problems who are distant, disillusioned or separated.

• *www.marriagebuilders.com  a good resource for overcoming marital conflict with Dr. Willard F Harley, Jr. Author of best seller His Needs, Her Needs: Building An Affair-proof Marriage.  See our Web Links page or Resources pages.
• Torn Asunder: Recovering From Extramarital Affairs book on how to survive an affair by Dave Carder and Duncan Jaenicke
• False Intimacy: Understanding the struggle of Sexual Addiction by Harry Schaumberg
• Support Group for spouses of those involved in Sexual Addiction: Sarah Joyner, MA (804) 254-0156 sarah_joyner@asburyseminary.edu 
• Recovering Couples Anonymous  closed RCA meeting @ Hatcher Memorial Church, call 282-5913; OPEN RCA Meeting @ The Church of the Holy Comfortor, call 355-4344
• Porn Addiction resources http://www.familydynamics.net/pornaddictionhelp.htm 
• Smalley Intensives to save marriages by Jim Brown and others; a look at intensive retreats as strategy to save marriages.
• Mediation Option and Mediation resources  
• Christian Counseling services and Family Therapist resources
• Surviving an Affair... it is very likely if... .Article by Karen S Peterson, USA Today.  Click here for a link Couples who xxxxx  are "more likely to stay married and more likely to recover personally," says Peggy Vaughan, author of Beyond Affairs and The Monogamy Myth. www.DearPeggy.com    
•  http://www.preventingaffairs.com/ Preventing Affairs e-Book for all couples.
• Not all Therapists are equal in terms of helping restore your marriage. Click here for a link to an article by Dr William Doherty, a therapist and counselor, with suggestions in choosing a therapist.
• ***NEW***    Infidelity Reaches Beyond Having Sex;  ...Emotional Intimacy, Virtual Affairs take hold in the Workplace.by Karen S. Peterson  USA Today Jan 9, 2003 Cautions about Workplace friendships and advice from Dr Shirley Glass.(link for article).
• Information for individuals and couples from AACC, American Association of Christian Counselors.  http://www.ecounseling.com/  This is not an endorsement of AACC or any of their programs but rather another resource couples, clergy or counselors  may choose from.

Books to consider

• Winning Your Wife Back: Before It's Too Late: A Game Plan for Reconciling Your Marriage   and    Winning Your Husband Back: Before It's Too Late  Books for reconciling by Smalley.
• Divorce Remedy: The Proven 7-Step Program for Saving Your Marriage by Michele Weiner-Davis
• Can My Marriage be Saved?: True Stories of Saved Marriages  by Mae and Erika Chambers
• Not "Just Friends" by Shirley Glass.  Investigates Hazards of Workplace Relationships. 
• So...You're Separated From Your Spouse? Now What!  Workshop and Book by Richmond Author: LaVerne R. Burgess, M.Ed. New Seasons Consulting  804-317-3079  LAVERNEBURGESS@aol.com
• "The Marriage Benefit: The Surprising Rewards of Staying Together" by Mark O'Connell. "It's more that I am saying don't leave the marriage for the wrong reasons."
• It takes one to tango... hope for your marriage article   Most people believe that it takes two dedicated people to make a troubled marriage have any chance of success. Michele Weiner-Davis, internationally known relationship expert and author of the best selling book Divorce Busting, disagrees.  She believes if just one partner will "tango" there is hope for a marriage.  
   
  "Ninety percent of the marriages that are headed down the road to divorce can be saved," said Weiner-Davis.  "Even marriages where only one person is really interested in saving the marriage and the other person is out the door, having an affair or emotionally gone, there is hope."  (Link here for full article)

   

National Healthy Marriage Resource Center launched April 2006 www.healthymarriageinfo.org

There is no excuse for Domestic Violence or Abuse. Hotlines in Va:  VADV  1-800-838-8238  ;  YWCA Richmond+Henrico: 643-0888  ;   Chesterfield-Tri-Cities: 796-3066.  National DV Hotline 1-800-799-SAFE.  For information in Richmond go to YWCA: http://www.ywcarichmond.org

Violence Against Women Network resources: http://new.vawnet.org/category/index_pages.php?category_id=1121 .  While our goal is to help couples achieve a lasting and satisfying (and safe ) marriage, there are times when safety requires drastic measures.  This is a resource for women who have experienced serious domestic violence .

These web sites are listed as a FREE Community Resource.  We do not endorse or promote any site or resource but rather list it for your convenience.  You are responsible for your decisions; Your use of the resources listed is at your own choice.  FTF and the Board is not responsible for any decisions you make/